Curitiba, 26 de setembro de 2008,

Funcionários e colaboradores do ISAE-FGV/PR, descontentes com o modelo de comunicação através de ramais utilizado pela empresa, inovaram com um novo sistema integrado para comunicação interna. Conhecidos pela criatividade e desenvolvimento de soluções de baixo custo, desenvolveram um complexo modelo com material reciclável e de baixíssimo consumo de energia elétrica. Abaixo algumas fotos do novo sistema que começa a ser testado hoje na empresa:

 

A nova tecnologia, chamada VoFC (Voz Over Fio-Copinho), está em fase de registro e homologação pela instituição. -”Tão logo tenhamos o registro da patente, que já foi requerida, iremos começar a negociar sua implementação em algumas empresas que demonstraram grande interesse na tecnologia”, afirmou Ed, responsável pela T.I. da instituição e um dos entusiastas do VoFC. “ao que tudo indica, Bematech e SPIPA irão começar a fazer testes ainda neste ano”, afirma.

Regina M. Lopes, responsável pela incubadora de projetos destacou algumas das principais características do novo sistema:

• Mobilidade: Antes a comunicação por ramais estava limitada ao aparelho que ficava na mesa dos funcionários. Hoje, é possivel levar o copinho dispositivo VoFC para qualquer lugar (ao banheiro, por exemplo).
• Aproveitamento e Reutilização de Materiais: Os copinhos usados de café podem ser utilizados para confecção de novos dispositívos de VoFC. É importante, no entanto, ficar atento para não utilizar os copinhos utilizados na comunicação para tomar café; Existe um furo no fundo do copo que pode causar vazamentos e acidentes.
• Sistema Integrado de Rastreamento e Atividades: Antes era impossível saber ao certo a localização de determinada pessoa dentro do ISAE. Hoje basta seguir o fiozinho do ramal.

Um dos diretores da instituição, que não quis se identificar, comentou que destarte as outras inúmeras vantagens do sistema, o principal benefício é poder manter todos os funcionários na coleira ao alcance em tempo integral.

Luís Fernando Veríssimo

Minha esposa e eu temos o segredo pra fazer um casamento durar:duas vezes por
semana, vamos a um ótimo restaurante, com uma comida gostosa, uma boa bebida, e
um bom companheirismo.Ela vai às terças-feiras, e eu às quintas.

Nós também dormimos em camas separadas. A dela é em Fortaleza e a minha em São
Paulo.

Eu levo minha esposa a todos os lugares, mas ela sempre acha o caminho de
volta.

Perguntei a ela onde ela gostaria de ir no nosso aniversário de casamento. ‘Em
algum lugar que eu não tenha ido há muito tempo!’ ela disse.Então eu sugeri a
cozinha.

Nós sempre andamos de mãos dadas. Se eu soltar, ela vai às compras.

Ela tem um liquidificador elétrico, uma torradeira elétrica, e uma máquina de
fazer pão elétrica. Então ela disse: ‘Nós temos muitos aparelhos, mas não temos
lugar pra sentar’. Daí, comprei pra ela uma cadeira elétrica

Lembrem-se, o casamento é a causa número um para o divórcio. Estatisticamente,
100 % dos divórcios começam com o casamento.

Eu me casei com a ‘Sra. Certa’. Só não sabia que o primeiro nome dela era
‘Sempre’. Já faz 18 meses que não falo com minha esposa. É que não gosto de
interrompê-la. Mas tenho que admitir, a nossa última briga foi culpa minha. Ela
perguntou: ‘O que tem na TV?’ E eu disse ‘Poeira’.

No começo Deus criou o mundo e descansou. Então, Ele criou o homem e descansou.
Depois, criou a mulher. Desde então, nem Deus, nem o homem, nem Mundo tiveram
mais descanso.

‘Quando o nosso cortador de grama quebrou, minha mulher ficava sempre me dando
a entender que eu deveria consertá-lo. Mas eu sempre acabava tendo outra coisa
para cuidar antes: o caminhão, o carro, a pesca, sempre alguma coisa mais
importante para mim. Finalmente ela pensou num jeito esperto de me
convencer.Certo dia, ao chegar em casa, encontrei-a sentada na grama alta,
ocupada em podá-la com uma tesourinha de costura. Eu olhei em silêncio por um
tempo, me emocionei bastante e depois entrei em casa.
Em alguns minutos eu voltei com uma escova de dentes e lhe entreguei.’
- Quando você terminar de cortar a grama,’ eu disse, ‘você pode também varrer a
calçada.’
Depois disso não me lembro de mais nada. Os médicos dizem que eu voltarei a
andar, mas mancarei pelo resto da vida’.

‘O casamento é uma relação entre duas pessoas na qual uma está sempre certa e a
outra é o marido…’ 

E não é que depois do primeiro computador e do primeiro acesso, as criaturas começaram a tentar se comunicar em inglês? Claro que uma das primeiras vítimas foi o Orkut Buyukkokten, o criador do infame reduto comunitário de semi-analfabetos funcionais brasileiros.

Observem a fluência e vocabulário da anta abaixo:

Traduzindo:

“Olá all good?” = “Olá, tudo bem?”;

“I wanted to know I eat…” = “Eu gostaria de saber como eu” (Cazzo.. “I eat” para “como eu” foi baixaria);

“Everything of good for you” = “Tudo de bom pra você”.

fonte: TheStories.Net / Author: Paulino R. e Silva

The gothic temple outstood in the town`s main square. It was its most beautiful and important building.. Actually the town grew around it. A beautiful construction from the mid-18th century. It was adorned with celestial symbols, which were everywhere, from the vestibule to the stairwells, mainly in the great hall where there were dark oak pews and a beautiful inwrought pulpit.

The pews were crowded. There were no places remaining and many persons had to stand to listen to the preacher who, at the pulpit, was giving his Sunday`s sermon. He was a very young priest, very tall, very fat, really a majestic figure. He had a very strong voice which rumbled through the nave making tremble the vitrals with the religious scenes representing the passion and death of Christ.

He was talking about the seven sacraments of the catholic church. Baptism, Chrism, Confession, Eucharistic, Matrimony, Order and Anointment of the sick. And emphasized mainly confession and matrimony. “Are you willing to rotten in hell?” his voice thundered through the nave of the church. “If not. try to free yourselves from sin, immediately, right now. Because you never know when will come the day of the judgment. May be thousand of years from now. May be just within some minutes. And, are you ready for the incoming of
Christ? So, set free from sin. If you are single, forget everything vain people say about premarital sex, about condoms, about any contraceptives. Just avoid it. That`s the right way. Young women, keep yourselves pure and virgin for your future husband. That`s what means to be really a Christian lady. And if you had sinned until now? There is hope. Don`t worry. Jesus forgives your sins, since you stop sinning. Remember Madalena`s story. Jesus said:-“Just go and do not sin never more.” “What should you do? Confess all your sins and avoid relapsing. That`s the narrow way that leads to Heaven.”

The crowd listened attentively. Among the crowd there was this young teenager girl, dressed with a long gown, well over her knees, and with a veil covering her dark tailed hair and matched eyes. It was clear that the priest`s words were impressing her very much, by the attention she was giving to the sermon, And, if someone could unveil her and look, would perceive even some tears running down her beautiful face. Yes, she was so impressed that she even cried silently and was thinking about her sins and how she would be burning forever in the eternal fire. She looked at the confession booth that was very near her place. There were three people waiting to confess. There was another priest inside the cubicle listening to their confessions. She didn´t hesitate. Got up and silently walked toward the confessional.

“In the name of Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. What`s going on, my daughter” whispered the confessor. She hesitated. She didn´t know how to start. She was so ashamed. The confessor stimulated her. “ My daughter, you have the opportunity to recognize your faults and, if you sincerely repent, you will be forgiven by God. So, don´t hide anything, tell me all your sins. I`ll listen to you in name of God.”

“Father”, she started, “I have been sinning since I was twelve, and never ever had the guts to confess.” Even in my first communion, when I came to confess, I lied. I told the confessor just some sins of smaller significance. Like disobey my parents, quarreling with my siblings and so on. But there are some ones much graver.” Here she stopped and sighed. “Okay, there is still time” said the confessor. Go on, tell everything, don`t hide anything. If you want to be forgiven, don`t conceal. May be it is you last chance to be pardoned.”

“Okay, I used to masturbate every night when I slept alone. Then when my cousin came to live with us and we started to sleep together, one night I perceived that she, that was a little older than me, was masturbating too, but I didn`t say anything. Then, one night, I awoke and she was sucking my toes, very lightly. I didn´t say anything again, just pretended to be sleeping. But it seems that she knew that I was awoke and that I was enjoying the stimulus because she grew bolder and bolder and went on, kissing my ankle, my shins, my knees, my thighs and went up and up. Then she started to bite my pussy. I was frenzied. I could hardly hold myself. My tits were growing and growing. Then, suddenly, I couldn`t stand any more and grabbed her and kissed her in the mouth. We took off our pants and gave wings to our fantasies. From then on you can imagine what happened. I could hardly wait for the night and every time there was something new and exciting happening. She was nuts. There was no end to her imagination. Once she started licking my pussy than my anus and made me come just this way. I did the same. Sixty nine was our every night homework. Our parents never suspected what we were doing. They only knew that we were very happy sleeping together and, since we lived nearby and went to school together every morning, they agreed with her stay at our house. They thought we were great friends and that was all.”

“From then on we started going out with the boys. The first one was my cousin`s brother, four years older then she was. We made a threesome. It was unbelievable, they had been fucking for a long time before, although they were siblings and they parents didn´t know anything. It was a new experience to have that big cock inside my pussy, my anus and my mouth while I sucked my cousin`s vagina. We fucked in the elevator, in the park, at the kitchen, while my parents were at the living room. Once, when my parents were traveling, my cousin`s brother brought three colleagues from the school. It was a wonderful “ménage a six” that endured the whole night. “ And so the girl spilled the beans, went on and on, her confession taking more than two hours.

At the end the priest gave his words of advice, censorship, orientation and comfort to the repentant and recommended the penitence to be fulfilled:- Since the faults were very serious she should pray twenty Our Fathers and thirty Holy Marys, and never, ever sin again. “Now, that you are in a state of grace and received the divine pardon, you can go, pay your penitence and receive the sanctified host. “

The girl got up, contrite and relieved, and feeling very light and sanctified came back to her pew. Then, kneeling down, she started her penitence.

The choir echoed through the whole church the Schubert`s Ave Maria. The flickering candles and the imposing statues seemed to be hailing and sanctifying her return to her faith. Everything resounded God`s grace..

Inside the confession booth, since there was no one else to confess, the confessor remained alone in the darkness, immersed in his thoughts like a child baptized by submersion in water. Fauns, with bodies of men and horns, legs and tails of goats, were floating in the air together with naked heavenly damsels with rosy cheeks and very red sensual lips. He was still aroused by the girl`s confession. So excited that he got a boner and looking at the girl through the little crevice in the stall`s window curtains, put out his cock and, joining the chords of the music, slowly engaged in masturbation. Aleluya, Aleluya, aleluuuuya….

Pois é… Sempre tive certa fixação em personagens de quadrinhos. Coisa de infância, acho; Qual garoto nunca pensou em dar um ‘pega’ na Mônica ou que nunca fantasiou com a Clarabela ou Magali? Agora que cresci, curto desenhos mais adultos e inteligentes, do tipo Simpsons e tal. Legal perceber que as personagens ficaram mais adultas e gostosas.

Tungado do Sedentário Hiperativo

Bem, realmente o Wii é genial. Mas a possiblidade de se dar mal jogando o lance é grande. A exemplo do garoto abaixo:

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… a molecada “esperta” discute as colas nas provas. Detalhe: É a comunidade do colégio dos abobados:

Suponha que você está indo para sua casa e, no caminho, se depara com a situação abaixo. O que você faria?

(A) Saía correndo para primeira igreja, para se benzer;

(b) Pegava o pé-de-cabra no porta-malas e tentava tirar a criatura de cima do coitado do motorista;

(C) Chamava a polícia… Com certeza o lance é briga. E das feias.